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Sunday, January 8, 2012

Is Honesty The Best Policy!?

You see, I've always been the type of girl who speaks her mind. I will tell you how I feel and what I'm thinking regardless of the outcome. My dad always said that honesty is one of the most important chapters in the book of life. And as many of you know, I live by a lot of the things my parents told me. Only because they've turned me into the woman I am.

Lately, I've been running into issues when it comes to friendship and honesty. It's as if some friends and people in your life love me because of how honest I am when it comes to everything.... but when it comes to them hearing the truth; well, they just can't handle it. I've found that total honesty from friends is not only refreshing but welcome. The fact that someone can tell me the truth no matter how brutal means they care about me. The trick here is to find people who won't abuse that privilege. That means they don't make careless statements like -- "you need a nose job" But they do tell me things like "you're rushing your relationship. Step back and take a break."

I want people to be honest with me, especially my friends. I'm starting to realize a few people in my life are just too sensitive and I will have to sugar coat everything from now on. It's not easy because, well that's not the way it should be. Life is harsh! It's not horrible, but not everything comes our way inside the perfect package with warning labels. We have to be ready to take on everything. Good, bad, silly, harsh, etc. And now, I find wondering... is honesty the best policy!?

One thing you have to know about me is that I don't like to have a conversation on a subject, unless I know some facts on it. I prefer to listen to the person who knows and then I will be able to use that knowledge in a future conversation. I also love to learn a little bit about everything, so I have at least one fact or question about the subject. I don't like to give an opinion based on feelings. Some find that a problem, but I really enjoy that.

I guess one of my goals for this year, should be to try to take people's feelings in consideration a little more and not just tell them what I think. It's just so hard because I have a problem when those close to me pretend to be someone they're not or to know about a subject they really don't. I'll revise this topic later. Perhaps on an open letter to my future daughter regarding honesty, friendships, and growing up.

I admit it! We all lie from time to time. And whoever says I never lie... well, totally lying!! When it comes to friendship and family, we tend to keep certain details to ourselves instead of sharing the entire story. Not because we don't want to talk about it, but because sometimes those details don't make sense to us and we rather review them with our own eyes than through the eyes of someone else. It's simple! I don't expect my family or friends to tell me everything.... and honestly, there are many things I keep to myself. But the truth is we have to learn to accept each other for who we are. Especially when it comes to friends. We all have different personalities and won't always agree on everything we say. But that is why we became friends in the first place. It would be boring to have the same personality in a group of friends. I know, I couldn't do that.

I have my best friends, those I'm close to and those I just enjoy talking to from time to time. I've always been the girl who moves in different circles. I know many people who say that, but honestly they don't. More on that later. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I need to learn to sugar coat my honesty and adapt to the personalities of the friends I love. After all... that's what friends do. I rather be the friend who tells you that skirt is the ugliest one I've ever seen and you should never wear it.... but, perhaps I should learn to customize my honesty and say something more along the lines of that's not the most flattering skirt you own. We'll see!
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