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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Relationship vs. Career Ambitions?

Woke up to this text: "Your communication skills are terrible Jenn!!! You take forever to respond." - It's called priorities. Hmm, sorry my career is more important than my dating life! And then again, some texts are not time-sensitive information and can wait.

I guess you can say I'm single by choice. I've faced my "commitment issues" and tried adding the "dating" variable to my life equation, but things didn't workout the way I wanted to... so I'm back on the market. And let me tell you, it is not easy. I've never liked dating. I was with Daraun on and off from 2003 to the beginning of 2010. Mostly because I was used to it and when things were good they were amazing, but when they were bad, well we're better off as friends.

Bottom line is I really don't like dating. I find the idea to be time consuming and too emotional. So I'm not a girl that goes out on dates, I'm trying it now but it truly feels like a wearing designer outfit that I've never liked but its in style. Believe it or not, I'm more of a relationship type of girl. I don't want one right now, not because I want to be forever single.... but because I have yet to find that one person who can put up with my lifestyle. I thought I did when I was dating Mani, but I wasn't very hmmm, responsible back then. Not really where a guy wants a girl to be in her life. Then there was Sam and well, I don't exactly know what that was but it was something and it ended, not really ready to write about it yet though. But I will, eventually.

If anything, my anxiety over first dates is stronger than an interview for a job or a project, which is a product of my conscious decision to prioritize my career and art projects over romantic relationships. This doesn’t mean the two can’t coexist, but as someone said, “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”

I'm only 27 years old. There's nothing wrong with being single and focusing on a successful career right now. I mean, I know in some countries people would say I'm going to die alone. Heck, people around me say that often. But that's ok. Worst case scenario... I do, but I know I won't. lol, I'll just get a dog, adopt a kid, hang out with my friends and their drama, I mean, their kids. I’m an excellent romantic partner, but I'm still trying to find out if I'm an excellent artist.
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