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Monday, November 2, 2015
An Open Letter To My Ex-Friend
Dear Stranger (you know who you are),
It has been months since we last talked; who would have guessed that would ever happen? I still remember the point in time where we couldn’t go a few hours without at least exchanging a pointless text message. Believe it or now, I miss you in my life. I sincerely hope things are better in your life than they were when I last saw you. I had my own crazy shit going on, but I never stopped praying for you.
I miss texting you about every single stupid thing that happens in my day. I miss knowing that at the end of the day I had you, that when push came to shove, no matter how bad the situation might be, I knew you would be there. You were truly among one of my best friends, so I was sad to see things end.
I hate that when people ask me how you are doing, and I genuinely don’t know. It hurts me knowing that you've chosen to bad mouth me to our mutual friends, when the last time I reached out to you it was so we could sit down and talk. You've been telling people I owe you an apology, but you're the one who decided not to respond. We owed it to our friendship to discuss things face to face, not to give a bullshit apology with a smiley face via text message.
I'm mad at us for letting our friendship become this far gone. How did we not see this coming? How did we not feel ourselves starting to drift? I am mad at us for not fighting harder for the friendship that we had. It wasn’t like most friendships. It was the kind of friendship that neither of us could have anticipated coming to an end. It was us against the world, and now it is nothing. I am mad at us for letting it become nothing but a collection of memories.
At this point, there is a 99% chance that it cannot be fixed and that maybe we weren’t supposed to be in each others lives forever. I wonder if you even care. And most important of all, I wonder if you look back on our friendship as fondly as I do.
I will never stop caring about you and wishing you well in life. I will silently smile from a distant sideline as you go out into the world and kick some ass. You will always hold a special place in my heart even though I may no longer hold one in yours. Thank you for everything. I miss you more than you could ever possibly know.